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Ever heard of a book called The Wormton Lamb? It's all set to be the next Da Vinci Code, and was written by Zopa member Injector (aka Bob Blackman), who borrowed money from Zopa lenders to help him self-publish his books. We caught up with him to see how everything was going.
So Injector, what are your books about?
I write humorous alternative reality. The Soul Trader is the first part of a trilogy that features not the traditional battle between good and evil but a three-way fight between good, evil and the forces of bland. I have also written The Wormton Lamb, which features Nick Hob (the hero of The Soul Trader trilogy) in a cameo role – he borrows the G-gnome as part of a soul trading deal and the little rascal gets out of its box.
Crikey - bet that leads to some hi-jinks. What's Nick Hob like then?
Hob is a horsepower whisperer. He can inspire engines to great feats of power and endurance with just a few carefully chosen words – he talks the torque! And for the speed and power he can give them, people will gladly sell their souls. Nick Hob is your best friend and your worst enemy. He'll lead you into temptation and take your soul from you, but you'll thank him for it afterwards.
There's one in every office. Can you give us a short extract from one of your books?
From The Soul Trader:
The stranger took a business card from a pocket of his battered leather jacket and presented it to M Cadvare. "My card."
M Cadvare stood up and studied him for a moment. His clothes did not follow any Euphobian fashionality with which M Cadvare was familiar and the stranger spoke one of the pre-unification dialects with a strangely refined accent. The hand that held the card had long steely fingers that bore several notable scars. The fingernails looked rather grubby from ingrained oil.
M Cadvare took the card and glanced at it. "There's nothing on it," he said.
"Modesty forbids it."
He turned it over. "And no address either."
The stranger smiled and shrugged. "I'm never at home."
But something made M Cadvare turn it over a second time. "‘Nicholas Eldritch Hob,'" he read out. "‘Soul Trader and Holder of Soul Rites.' What odd spelling. ‘Horsepower Whispering a speciality.' Pleased to meet you, monsieur … er, Mister Hob," and they shook hands. "Enrico Cadvare, at your service."
Excellent. Don't suppose you could give us one from The Wormton Lamb as well, could you?
"Widdershins!" called Mr Heckmondwike.
Widdershins was his three-headed collie. The Greeks may have conceived the idea of a three-headed dog but the Wormtonians had refined the concept and given it practical reality through very selective breeding. As well as three heads, they had endowed every Three-headed Wormton Sheepdog with three tails and twelve legs.
The masterstroke, however, was to give each Three-headed Wormton Sheep Dog three bodies. These bodies were completely independent of each other and came complete with a tail and a matched set of legs. The result was a sheep dog that could be in three places at the same time.
Consequently, it was a simple task for Wid, Der and Shins to round up the unfortunate lamb and bring it, bleating and confused, to Mr Heckmondwike. Mr Heckmondwike picked up the lamb and examined it while its concerned mother looked on.
"Ah reckon ah'll have to keep an eye on this young rascal mesen, now," he said.
Sounds great. Now, a horrible question, but what other authors would you say your work's closest to?
Horrible answer - I dunno. Once they are on Amazon, I hope people who bought Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett and Jaspar fforde would also be shown as purchasing my books.
How close are you to finishing everything?
There's still a great deal to do to complete the trilogy but it's pretty well mapped out. I have hired an editor and we are working closely on the first part, which is The Soul Trader. I aim to get this ready for publication in the winter. The Wormton Lamb will be published soon afterwards.
And how come you decided to go down the self-publishing road?
I've tried the conventional publishing route but got nowhere with it. So I decided to take some of the risk myself and self-publish. This is where Zopa comes in. My loan has been used to create a fighting fund. Print on demand publishers are offering reasonably priced packages to authors who wish to take this step and keep creative control over their work. Increasing numbers of authors who have published their own work by this means have enjoyed great success and gone on to sign major deals with mainstream publishers on the basis of their self-publishing track record.
Well good luck with it all. When they're published, where would you suggest people read your books: on the beach? At home? In a haunted castle?
A Cornish engine house would be the best place. As will be revealed, they are an integral part of the Anarchadian landscape.
How can Zopa members whose fancies have been tickled find out more about your work?
E-mail me at bob@rdblackman.fsnet.co.uk.
Moving on from your writing, in the midst of this heat-wave, it seems only appropriate to ask you what your favourite ice cream is.
Callestick Farm Ice Cream – it's made in the Cornish village where I grew up. I can eat loads without feeling sick.
Impressive. And are you a 'tanner' or are a 'burner'?
I'm a pale skinned burner. Apparently the surname Blackman is a German joke name, derived from Bleichmann or bleach man.
Well plenty of factor 30 for you then. Best of luck with everything Injector, and keep us posted about how things are going.
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